Me: Congratulations on the new CD Celebrity.

N Sync: Thanks.

Me: It's fabulous. Really really fabulous.

N Sync: Thanks.

Me: I mean, I'm sure it would be fabulous if I had listened to it.

N Sync: Thanks.

Me: It's amazing how you all answer in unison like that. Must be all that "harmony" you all allegedly have.

N Sync: Thanks.

Me: Sure. Okay. I have a copy of the lyric book and I'd like to talk about some of these lyrics. This is from your first single: "I'm sick and tired of hearin' all these people talk about what's the deal with all this pop life and when is it gonna fade out?" Any comments? AJ?

JC: It's JC actually. AJ's in the Backstreet Boys.

Me: Oh. I see. Sorry. You both have the whole two initial name thing going on. My mistake. What do you think about that lyric?

JC: It's saying that we're here to stay and everyone needs to stop saying that pop music is dying.

Me: Did New Kids On The Block stay?

Lance: They don't compare to us!

Me: Settle down there, Brian.

JC: We're two totally different bands. We're avoiding their mistakes and it's obviously working.

Me: So you really think that your group is going to stay around for a long time?

JC: Definitely.

Me: Really? How can you be sure?

Chris: We're still top-selling artists. Kids still want fun happy music.

Me: I guess you're right. Maybe the country will go to war or something and good music will reign again.

JC: There's no such thing as good music or bad music. Everyone has different taste.

Me: You have to say that because you make bad music.

Lance: Guys, what's going on? This has never happened.

JC: We do NOT make bad music. Our music makes people happy.

Me: Would you listen to your music?

Joey: I listen to our music.

Me: Shouldn't you be at home with your wife and three kids? You've got to be about forty.

Joey: I'm twenty-two.

Me: Sure you are. Anyway, let's talk about some more lyrics. These lyrics are much deeper than your past songs. Here's some of my favorites from the song Girlfriend: "Why don't you be my girlfriend? I'll treat you good." Wow. That's sure something.

JC: You're the kind of person that we're trying to send a message to, ya know that?

Me: If the message is that you write emotionally devoid music for a bunch of eleven year old girls, then message received.

Joey: I don't look forty.

Me: Anyway, Justin, you haven't said anything. I talked to your girlfriend a little while ago.

Justin: That's why I'm not talking. Brit told me how you are.

Me: Fair enough, although I'm sorry that I'll miss the opportunity to make fun of your wannabe dialect.

Justin: That is what I'm talkin' bout, yo.

Me: Moving right along… Chris, I was just reading what you wrote as a thank you in the album. It's kind of incoherent, so I didn't finish reading, but you sound like you have a sense of humor. Or you're schitzophrenic or something.

Chris: Both! I'm schitzophrenic and I have a sense of humor! And I'm a pretty pretty princess! Justin, aren't I the prettiest princess in all the land?

Justin: Yes, Chris.

Me: Dear God. I didn't think he was really mentally ill.

Chris: I'm not. I was being funny.

Me: Well, it's been a pleasure. I must say that you have all gained my respect and I no longer believe that pop music is stupid and annoying.

JC: Really?

Me: No, but Lance is twitching and looking at me funny. Is he the one on drugs?

Justin: That's AJ of the Backstreet Boys! We're not on drugs.

Joey: And I'm not forty!

Me: Well, thanks Justin, Joey, Lance, AJ, and you with the funny hair. You were all wonderful and I can't wait to listen to the new album.

7/30/01